In the real world there is no second place, no merits for being runner-up and no plaudits for having at least made an attempt. If you don’t win you might as well have come in last. This is something that the new Generation Y don’t appear to understand.

 

Harsh but true. Brutally honest it may be, but important to recognise and respect non-the-less because it is the reality we all have to live with. It really doesn’t matter what political persuasion you happen to adopt, or what values you may personally hold; the reality of experience will affect us all the same.

 

The arrival of Generation Y has brought this into sharp relief. The generation that were born into the virtual reality of never having to win; they just hit the reset button and start over if they need to, or better still change the game so they’re guaranteed success. This generation don’t know what being competitive means or how to go about it unless it’s vicarious. Sure, they’ll scream for their football team and aim to compete for the highest game score. Yet when it comes to competing for real achievements in the real world, they haven’t got a clue. Cosseted by the cotton wool of ever increasing health and safety rulings, they no longer know what it feels like to be first to climb the tree in the schoolyard or to be first to score in a game of murder-ball. Their well meaning but deluded teachers steer them away from any competition for fear that anyone who doesn’t win may suffer hurt feelings. They have been starved of the experiences that would otherwise have served them well in later life. They now find themselves in a world that only recognises and rewards real success, and don’t know how to cope.

They run crying to the HR manager when their boss dares to criticise them. They quit rather than perform to a ihigher standard and are happy to be supported by parents or the state instead. They look for the easy way to get whatever they want and believe that if it’s available for someone then it ought to be available for them. They queue for hours to get on TV talent shows without having made an effort to become a polished entertainer or they spend what cash they have on lottery tickets and cheap booze in an ongoing attempt to get what they want. If they want it they believe they should be able to have it, and have it now!

They are a generation of lost souls; rarely happy with where they are and constantly searching for something that’s better, without ever knowing what it really is. What they are looking for is that which has been denied to them; the concept of competition, risk and reward: The chance to sink or swim with real consequences; the heady euphoria of success and the despair of losing that drives a person on to try again and try harder. It’s been said that people aren’t naturally lazy; they just have impotent goals. Without the frisson of risk there can be no genuine pleasure in reward. There is nothing more potent than the sting of loss to push a person into raising their game. They will come back into play more focused and more ready to win than ever. To be motivated a person needs a potent motive for taking action and there is rarely anything more potent than strong emotion; and the emotion of wanting to win is one that is learned through experience. Take that experience away and you take away potency. Remove potency and you’re left with goals that will inevitably be impotent. Is it any wonder then that we have a Generation Y the way that they are. They didn’t create themselves, they are our creation. We made them like this through our misguided political dogma and overly protective attitude. Attitudes and approaches that now must change.

 

You probably learned to ride your bike by having a few grazed knees. You may have learned to swim after swallowing a few unwanted mouthfuls of nasty water. If you are successful in your career, you got that way by learning that there are times when you have to win. You may not be able to win all the time. That’s not at issue. But to be taught that winning isn’t important is a lie. It is. Without the desire to win you become a loser. A whining, whinging, complaining, irresponsible, selfish and unreliable loser; traits that are uncomfortably reminiscent of Generation Y. Traits that have led them into the binge drinking, drug dependent, no-win-no-fee easy-at-all-costs lifestyle that now needs to change.

Those that change first will be the new winners. Paradoxically it’s true that those who accept responsibility for their actions, become accountable for their own success, and seek support to learn how to take risks will be those who reap all the rewards. Of course, they won’t be successful straight away. There is no golden stairway to the winning enclosure. They will surely take a few falls along the way and have to pick themselves up, dust themselves down and get back on their chosen path; but it’s only by having those experiences that they’ll gain the skills and attributes that are necessary to become winners. These are the keys to the locked doors of success. Earn them and the doors will open. Just expect to be given them and be prepared to wait forever in frustration.

 

The good news is that anyone with the desire to change can be coached to become a winner. I can’t always guarantee they’ll win at everything they attempt, but I can be certain that the act of genuinely and seriously trying to win will lead them closer to their goal.

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