Psychology Behind the News

Behaviours Explained & Motives Uncovered

We can only guess what might have gone on in the mind of taxi driver turned spree-killer Derrick Bird. None of us will ever really know what made a seemingly mild mannered middle aged man turn his shotgun on complete strangers and shoot them dead. The shock felt when such unexpected and unpleasant events occur isn’t limited to those directly involved. While the memory is fresh in our minds there some who can’t help wondering if the driver of their cab could turn into a Derrick Bird, or look furtively over their shoulder when trimming their hedge at the strangers driving by. The uncertainty engendered by tragedy has tendrils that stretch and spread over the everyday life of the otherwise unaffected. For a while many people will find themselves feeling unbalanced and edgy; some may find it hard to concentrate or even become more emotional than normal. 

Horrible events like this force us to confront the effects of stress and demonstrate just how vulnerable we are to an attack on the mind. Because of the nightmarish nature of the shootings it feels reasonable to accept that it’s Ok to be affected by something that hasn’t actually had anything to do with you at all. Yet when it comes to more mundane fears (like losing your business, home, partner or the ability to feed your children) then it’s somehow not OK.

 

An economic recession may not be as dramatic or shocking as a murderous killing spree, but it does bring with it fears and worries that may be as deep and powerfully held. These fears can then manifest as stress symptoms in the same way as those we are now watching out for because of the shootings. The trouble is, there’s no counselling available for economic emotional trauma.

Notice that the blanket news coverage of the events in Cumbria are all about giving certainty; speculation as to motives; reassurance about police control; comfort about the strength of community and available support for all involved. This is a good thing. It will help restore the balance of between the perception of over-stimulation and control. In turn that will help calm things down so that all but those directly impacted can comfortably get on with their daily lives.

 

Notice however that the news coverage of economic tragedy is almost the polar opposite. It sows seeds of additional doubt and further uncertainty. It focuses on the reasons why we can’t be sure about the future and the possible negative consequences for all of us. It’s all about gloom and doom! There would be (quite rightly) an outcry if the shootings had been dealt with in this way; ‘watch out your mild mannered neighbour could be about to kill you…’ headlines would be considered insensitive and unhelpful. They would prolong the damaging stress reaction. It clearly would not be a good thing.

So, economic tragedies abound, there is no recognised emotional support to deal with them and the news coverage of those events sets out to make you feel a whole lot worse. Is it any wonder then that business owners may be experiencing a tough time?

 

If that sounds like you then cut yourself some slack. If you were finding things tough because of worries about the shooting (maybe finding it hard to sleep, concentrate etc) then you’d probably seek some kind of help or support. So if you are experiencing similar symptoms that have been brought on by the more mundane (but often also tragic) economic difficulties then think about treating it in a similar way. Your GP may not be able to help but there are plenty of people who can. The first step is to recognise you need some help; finding it will be easier than you think.

 

If you are a business owner who wants to thrive rather than survive, I recommend joining the ‘Business Success Strategies’ monthly audio coaching programme from BusinessCoaching.co.uk . They are offering £800 of FREE material just to take a RISK FREE trial. Take a look at  http://tinyurl.com/yhh6zjb

 

Like so many before him, President Obama is making decisions in the USA that resonate around the world. One may be to pursue BP for damages to the extent that it brings the company to its knees. Predictably stock markets have responded, adding to the collective financial woe the world finds itself in.

 

The point is: You may not be able to do anything about this, or any of the other world events that unfold before you. But you do have a choice in the way that you respond to them. You may not be the master of destiny, but you can still be the master of your own destiny.

 

To be the best you can be; to be able to support the people and things you care about, you must first take care of yourself. It may be counter intuitive, but it’s only by putting yourself first that you can actually be there for others. Stressed out parents, who hardly see their kids and then get even more uptight when they don’t behave like little angels, have missed the point. Burned out bosses who snap and growl as they try harder and harder to be successful, have missed the point. Organisations set up to deal with the outcomes of unfortunate outcomes of cultural norms, without first seeking to deal with their causes, have missed the point. 

A pragmatic definition of selflessness must be to have taken care of ones own needs, with a minimum of fuss, in order to dedicate oneself to the support of others. However, you can’t effectively take care of anyone else if you need taking care of yourself. 

Selfishness is putting your own needs above those of anyone else; such as the need to feel certain about your current and future circumstances. So you neglect all but the fulfilment of your drive for control on the pretence that you’re doing it for the greater good. Get real; you’re not. You are doing it for yourself so that you feel better. Or maybe you need to feel stimulated and avoid overwhelm; so you dash around keeping (metaphorical) plates spinning. Being human, you only have a limited number of attention units at any one time, so these get taken up with your plate spinning while hoodwinking yourself into believing you have no choice but to keep them all on the move. You do have a choice. Instead of simply responding you can begin to take control’ to develop a plan that works for you: A plan that allows for time to think about someone else for a change. Or perhaps your need is to feel special and significant. So you build yourself an identity that then has to be protected. Ego takes over from outcome, and without thinking you start to process information, not in terms of how useful it will be in helping you achieve your goals, but by what it might be ‘saying’ about you. Or last (but by no means least) perhaps your particular driving need is to avoid feeling alone. You avoid the spectre of aloneness by connecting with the world through blame and accusation; pointing the finger at all and sundry for the problems that come your way. You are however ore likely to end up on your own by letting yourself fall into the blame-game trap. Take responsibility for yourself. Your shoulders are plenty big enough to deal with whatever’s come your way. All you need is inside you now; you just have to look inwards, rather than casting around for answers. 

BP’s ills may well mean the UK stock market takes a pounding. The economy may well double-dip back into a deep recession. The business or job you are in might well come under threat. But none of these things can stop you being the best you can be as long as you don’t miss the point: Do what you need to do to take control of your circumstances; get certain by finding your own inner strength. You’ve always survived up to now, so you can again. Get stimulated by knowing what you really want and then making sure you are moving towards it (at whatever speed); generate your own significance by knowing in your heart of hearts that you are being all you can be, and be so settled in yourself that you connect with people in ways that benefit them. The point is: You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control the way you react, so even when the worst seems to be looming n the horizon, recognise that there is a point to it all, and that you already know what it is

 

 

If you are a business owner who wants to thrive rather than survive, I recommend joining the ‘Business Success Strategies’ monthly audio coaching programme from BusinessCoaching.co.uk . They are offering £800 of FREE material just to take a RISK FREE trial. Take a look at  http://tinyurl.com/yhh6zjb

 

One of the great joys of coaching is to work with so many business leaders. Some direct large organisations, some own their businesses and others manage on behalf of an organisation. It’s long been recognised that you don’t have to be particularly insightful to recognise patterns when you see them; and when you see them an awful lot it’s hard NOT to notice them. After more than 3000 hours of face to face coaching it becomes blindingly obvious which behaviours produce great results and all too clear those that do not!

 

Robert Sutton, Professor of Management Science and Engineering at Stanford University has researched the habits consistent with great management. Like all the best research it has a ring of authenticity to it and sounds like it’s well grounded in common sense. But agreeing with the obvious in hindsight isn’t the same as taking in on board and changing the way you behave. See if you agree with his findings and my observations; then ask yourself honestly how close you come to genuinely believing each of the following: 

If the thought that ‘no one understands me’ has ever crossed your mind then you should listen to yourself. They don’t. They never will. Neither will you ever know just what it feels like to be them and have to put up with you! Instead of trying to justify yourself, just ask some new questions; questions that help you imagine what it’s like to work for you. 

People value expertise. Creativity has its place but it can never be at the expense of genuine high quality performance; and that only comes from getting really good (and that only comes from repetition and practice). 

The brain has a natural ability to filter relevant information and unconsciously lead you toward a big goal. The trick is to provide a strong and clear pattern for it to use; one that has bags of emotion attached to it and is genuinely desired. Once you’ve done that, the best thing to do is to set it aside and concentrate on the short term problems that need solving now. 

One of the best signposts to success is if a person thinks with an ego-focus (‘what does this mean to me?’) or an outcome-drive (‘is this taking me closer to the goal?’). Being outcome driven is a sure way of determining the right level of assertion. 

The concept of being a servant to those whom you are charged with leading is lost on all but the most successful leaders. The best ways to serve being to ensure you are as fit as possible to give them what they need to do their best. 

Self awareness is surprisingly uncommon, as is evidenced by the continued use of 360 degree feedback tools that still manage to provide surprises even though the concept of situational leadership has been around for longer than many of today’s managers have been in the workplace. 

Flexibility has to be at the top of any leader’s wish list for his or her own self improvement. We are biologically set up to find it difficult to hold the concept of something or someone being good or bad at the same time; hence our natural tendency to dig our heels in (even though be might be wrong). 

It’s not easy to forgive if you are likely not to be forgiven. Trust can take years to gain and seconds to lose; but once lost, may be gone forever. 

There will be no substantial improvements without minds being held open and given the opportunity to think; the trick however is spot the needle in the haystack without getting caught up in the straw. 

Nothing grates (particularly in the UK) like an unrealistically upbeat boss. Not everybody wants to grin like a Cheshire cat or leap up with a high-five every five minutes. Once in a while is just fine! However the insidious whispering of a nay-sayer is tantamount to the rotting apple in the barrel; if you don’t fish it out then the rest will turn bad in no time. 

I ask leaders to imagine their day with the sound muted as seen through the eyes of their employees; then to try and figure out what they’d make of it. People are constantly analysing how you look and move as well as what you say and how you sound. They can’t help it; their human computers take in all the signals you’re giving out and instantly (and unconsciously) convert them into meanings. Perception is, of course, the only reality a leader can deal with. 

At work, no one but you really cares too much about you because they are too busy worrying about themselves. That might sound harsh but it’s true. No one is asking leaders to become carers or therapists; just to keep focused on the goal and not caught up with their own ego. Outcome driven leaders can’t act like jerks because to do so would take them further away from their goal.

 

Robert Sutton’s latest book ‘Good Boss, Bad Boss’ is due out in September from Business Plus.

 

If you are a business owner who wants to thrive rather than survive, I recommend joining the ‘Business Success Strategies’ monthly audio coaching programme from BusinessCoaching.co.uk . They are offering £800 of FREE material just to take a RISK FREE trial. Take a look at  http://tinyurl.com/yhh6zjb